So, normally, I put my contacts into a combination cleaning/soaking/wetting solution overnight. I can then just remove them from the container and slap them in my eyes and I'm ready to go.
I forgot that last night I put them into a protein-removing cleaner instead of the normal all-in-one product.
So I happily slammed the right lens into the eye this morning and noticed immediately that something was horribly wrong. In other words, I was in agony. Spelled A-a-a-a-G-O-N-E-E-E. Obviously, this product which was spawned in hell is not meant to be thrown into the eye without first thoroughly rinsing with a firefighter's hose at 80psi.
As I clutched the entire right side of my face making gross muscle contortions and uttering mono-syllabic sounds like "Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh" and "R-Ee-Ar-R-oo-oo-oO-OO-OO!", I managed to not realize that my writhing body was carrying me downwards as well as perpendicular to the floor. Thus, the 'konk' sound my forehead made on the porcelain of the sink came as a complete surprise. But at least I had something else to complain about besides the caustic chemicals that were still eating the optical jelly out of my sight orb.
So now I'm sitting here at work trying to type this with only the close-reading lense in the left eye. The right lens is sitting in the bowl of a dirty plastic spoon on my desk while I drop Walgreens brand drops in my eye every 15 nanoseconds. I'd glare at it but even if I could see it clearly it would hurt too much.
This day is going to get better. It has no choice.